Fucked as a brand/franchise?

Published on September 6th, 2006

Ok, so this idea came to me the other day when I was thinking about branding, something that I have to do regularly during my day job. How do you design and label your products so they seep into the target audience’s consciousness, into their dreams, into their soul? The publishing company I work for certainly has a reasonable brand, but I think there are certainly things that have more brandability (ok, so it is a word, now; I also toyed with the idea that if a brand is brandish, then maybe it means that it’s not a very effective brand….but that wouldn’t be right either.)

To get to the point, I think that Fucked. is a great potential brand. It’s simple, memorable, short (so easily fits on most brand tie-in items,) and also has the added bonus of being slightly controversial, so it’s down with the kids, helping them to live out their packaged rebellion.

I can imagine a huge number of tie in items, guaranteed to make us mega-bucks:

  • T-shirts: Aside from a t-shirt sporting just the “Fucked.” logo, you could have t-shirts to wear at parties/nightclubs (“I’m here to get Fucked.”, or “Let’s get Fucked. up”,) school (“My grades are Fucked.”,)and a host of other ideas.
  • A range of “Fucked.” alcoholic drinks—I think I’ve said enough about this idea.
  • “Fucked.” condoms, dildos, and KY Jelly?
  • Calculators, zip drives, and other electronic devices. You could have a battery backup attached to a couple of LEDs, so when the device breaks down, the “Fucked.” logo lights up, indicating that the device needs to be repaired.
  • Pens, pencils, mousemats, rulers, and other stationary, all sporting the “Fucked.” logo.

I think this is what Robert had planned anyway when he started Fucked, although maybe our brand is slightly less palletable for the mass market than, say, McDonalds, Walmart, MTV, or Bratz? Even so, I think we’ve got a good chance. How about “Fucked.” the Movie?

If you’ve got any good ideas about other potential “Fucked.” branding items, or any thoughts on who would be good to play the parts of Robert, Henrik, and myself in “Fucked.” the movie, then feel free to comment!

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10 Comments

  1. A

    September 6th, 2006 at 17:00

    1

    Well…..Probably be banned from the US…But I like the idea. Why not a “Fucked” stamp, which you use everywhere you feel it´s needed to point out the fact that it´s “Fucked”.?

  2. Rob Weychert

    September 6th, 2006 at 18:54

    2

    I hear the whole sweatpants-with-text-on-the-ass thing is on its way out, but while it’s still here… ;)

  3. Martin

    September 7th, 2006 at 1:52

    3

    How about a whole range of maternity clothing?

  4. Wayne

    September 7th, 2006 at 10:11

    4

    Sanitary towels, oh the sweet irony. A double whammy of ‘Fucked’ if you uncover one of them.

  5. FlorentG

    September 7th, 2006 at 10:29

    5

    Yeah, now head over to cafepress.com, and start selling some Fucked. T-Shirts :)

  6. Chris - Fucked. Writer

    September 7th, 2006 at 12:50

    6

    Thanks guys – some great ideas here. I love the sanitary towels, and the range of maternity clothes ;-)

    And funny you should mention t-shirts at cafepress – we’re already in progress on that one! check out the fuckeddot shop…

  7. Robert - Fucked. Writer

    September 7th, 2006 at 12:52

    7

    I’m going to be honest here. As soon as I saw Chris’ post, I sent a message saying something like:

    Eh… Man, should you really publish that?

    But I like the notion of being totally open with this! :-) Here goes…

    I didn’t initially have any plans of merchandising when I came up with the concept of this web site; the general idea was just to entertain people and also tell them about things that we think is wrong in the world.

    But, as soon as I saw the Fucked. logo, I felt that I wanted a t-shirt sporting it! So, we talked about it and we will offer merchandise sometime this fall, probably starting with at least t-shirts.

    A,

    I guess people in the US would like it just because of that moral panic.

    Rob,

    Oh, wonderful! Let’s not miss that! :-)

    Martin,

    Yeah, wouldn’t it look good with a tank top with the Fucked. logo just on top of the pregnant belly? :-)

    Wayne,

    Yes, and then only offer them in cheap motels for people cheating on their partners…

    FlorentG,

    We’re way ahead of you… :-) Stick around, and we’ll let you know eventually.

  8. Dullard

    September 7th, 2006 at 16:49

    8

    1. On Knickers and underwear generally, perhaps saying ‘get Fucked!’
    2. On the more extreme rings for piercings in nipples, tongues, genetalia etc. I’m thinking embedded inside spherical jewels that produces some level of magnification.
    3. As writing on contact lenses that glows under UV lights in clubs for all those wasted drugged up dancers out there. As a side thought, has anybody put writing on contact lenses at all? Nevermind logos…
    4. Literal branding of cows destined for the slaughter house.
    5. Tattooing various misfits and ‘fucked!’ people in society sych as…

    those on death row.
    the officially insane that will spend most of there lives in mental institutuions
    And finally across the genitalia of paedophiles and rapists…

    Wait.. have I crossed the line of bad taste with some of those suggestions? Oops..

  9. Robert - Fucked. Writer

    September 7th, 2006 at 18:42

    9

    Dullard,

    The first ones were really interesting, but then you kinda crossed the line for my taste at least… :-)

  10. Chris - Fucked. Writer

    September 13th, 2006 at 14:59

    10

    Ok, so I think Dullard is gonna be one of our next hires, for new writers…!

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