Police statements

As soon as something has happened, and you read about the gory details in the news, the police always have an interesting statement to make.

What has occurred is usually something like: “Man found dead with tied hands and feet, gagged, in the locked trunk of a burning car”. Accompanying that is the polices’ official statement:

We don’t exclude the possibility that a crime has been committed.

Are you fucking kidding me? What else would’ve happened? That he tied and gagged himself, jumped into the trunk, somehow magically locked it?! And to top it all off, he then set fire to it? Yeah, right…

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